My Immortal
by theactualwormst
Summary: star wars and my immortal nice
1. Chapter 1-5

**Chapter 1.**

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) louise, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! caitlin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Han Solo and I don't have a boyfriend so I'm riding solo at the moment (that's how I got my name) and I have short umber brown hair with purple streaks and red tips and muddy brown eyes like mud and a lot of people tell me I look like Sirius Black (AN: if u don't know who dat is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hoth Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. And a vest. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"RRRRARRG!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Chewbacca!

"What's up Chewbacca?" I asked.

"RRRRARRGHHEH." He said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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 **Chapter 2.**

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. And a vest. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears.

My friend, Willbur (AN: Louise dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. They flipped their long waist-length black hair with pink streaks and opened their forest-green eyes. They put on their Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Chewbacca Malfoy yesterday!" they said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Chewbacca?" they asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" they exclaimed. Just then, Chewbacca walked up to me.

"Ruuurghhhh." He said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"RRghhrhhghj." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH." He told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"RRrhghggh?" he asked.

I gasped.

 **Chapter 3.**

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN LOUISE! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a bla ck leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. Also I put on a vest. I made my hair look all spikey. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Chewbacca was waiting there in front of his flying pod racer. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl wookiez wer it ok!).

"Hi Chewbacca!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Han." He said back. We walked into his flying black pod racer (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the pod racer. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood

They're all so happy you've arrived

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom

they sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Chewbacca, pointing to him as they sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Chewbacca looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Rrrugggh?" asked Chewbacca sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Jar Jar fucking Binks. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of his ugly gungan face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Chewbacca. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Chewbacca and I crawled back into the pod racer, but Chewbacca didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the pod racer into… the forests of Endor!

 **Chapter 4.**

AN: I sed stup flaming ok han's name is HNA nut mary su OK! CHEWBACCA IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

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"CHEWBACCA!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Chewbacca didn't answer but he stopped the pod racer and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"RRRRGH?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Chewbacca leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Chewbacca kissed me passionately. Chewbacca climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my VEST. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Obi Wan Kenobi!

 **Chapter 5.**

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Cannoli swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

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Obi Wan Kenobi made and Chewbacca and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Chewbacca comforted me. When we went back to the castle Obi Wan Kenobi took us to Professor Yoda and Professor Padme who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forests of Endor!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor Padme.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Yoda.

And then Chewbacca shrieked. "RRRRRRGRGHRRRRH!"

Everyone was quiet. Obi Wan Kenobi and Professor Padme still looked mad but Professor Yoda said. "Fine. Very well. Up to your rooms, you may go."

Chewbacca and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"RRRRGHHHHH?" Chewbacca asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length vest with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Chewbacca was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

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	2. Chapter 6-11

**Chapter 6.**

AN: shjt up preps ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

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The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. Also I put on a vest. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic girl with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. She was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down her face and she was wearing black lipstick. She didn't have leia buns anymore and now she was wearing red contact lenses just like Chewbacca's. She had a sexy Alderaan accent. She looked exactly like Joel Madden. If Joel Madden was a girl. She was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only that's gross so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." She said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Leia Organa, although most people call me Vampire Leia these days." She grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." She giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" she whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Chewbacca came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

 **Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life**

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Hanyn isn't a Marie Sue ok he isn't perfect HES A SATANITS! n he has problemz hes depressed 4 godz sake!

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Chewbacca and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire Leia. Dark misery was in her depressed eyes. I guess she was jealous of me that I was going out with Chewbacca. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Chewbacca. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather vest and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his wookie's thingy in me and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Chewbacca, Chewbacca!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Chewbacca's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire Leia!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"RRRGHHHHUGH!" Chewbacca pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Chewbacca ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire Leia's classroom where she was having a lesson with Professor Yoda and some other people.

"VAMPIRE LEIA, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

 **Chapter 8.**

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do de prep!

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Chewbacca came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"RRRGHGHH!" Chewbacca screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody C3P-H0E smiled at me understatedly. They flipped their long waste-length gothic gold hair and opened their gold eyes like gold that they was wearing contact lenses on. They had gold skin that they was wearing gold metal on. C3P0 was kidnapped when they was born. Their real parents are robots and one of them is a witch but Darth Vader killed their mother and their father committed suicide because they was depressed about it. They still have nightmares about it and they are very haunted and depressed. (Since they have converted to Satanism they are in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Yoda demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire Leia, I can't believe you cheated on me with Chewbacca!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Han was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire Leia (I'm bi and so is Han) for a while but then she broke my heart. She dumped me because she liked Lando, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. She had gone through horrible problems, and now she was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Chewbacca anymore!" said Vampire Leia.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the forests of Endor where I had lost my virility to Chewbacca and then I started to bust into tears.

 **Chapter 9.**

AN: stop flaming ok! I dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if obey 1 cannoli swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson yode dosent lik leia now is coz hes christian and vampire leia is a satanist! MCR ROX!

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Chewbacca for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Chewbacca.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and a black mask and everything started flying towards me on a pod racer! He breathed pretty weird (basically like Darth Vader in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Darth Vader!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Darth Vader shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Darth Vader fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Han." He yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Leia!"

I thought about Vampire Leia and her sexah eyes and her gothic black hair and how her face looks just like Joel Madden but a girl version of Joel Madden. I remembered that Chewbacca had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Chewbacca went out with Vampire Leia before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Darth Vader!" I shouted back.

Darth Vader gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" He yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Chewbacca!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Darth Vader got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire Leia, then thou know what will happen to Chewbacca!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Chewbacca came into the woods.

"Chewbacca!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

 **Chapter 10.**

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody c3phoe n Vampire Leia r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

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I was really scared about Dart Vadder all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody C3P-H0E, Vampire Leia, Chewbacca, FN-2187 (although we call him Finn now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Palpatine. Only today Chewbacca and Vampire Leia were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Chewbacca was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a Vampire Leia too and the only way you can kill a Vampire Leia is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) and Vampire Leia was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather vest that showed off my second vest and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

"Han! Are you OK?" B'loody C3P-H0E asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Darth Vader came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Leia! But I don't want to kill her, because, she's really nice, even if she did go out with Chewbacca. But if I don't kill Leia, then Darth Vader, will fucking kill Chewbacca!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Chewbacca jumped out from behind a wall.

"RRRRRRHHHGGHH!" he shouted. "RRRRARRGH!" (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Chewbacca started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Kenobi walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" he started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Han. Chewbacca has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

 **Chapter 11.**

AN: i sed stup flaming up preps! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend louise 4 hleping me!

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"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody C3P-H0E tried to comfort me but I told their fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Obi Wan Kenobi chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut vest with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Yoda was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Yaddle was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire Leia ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" she yelled at Yoda and Yaddle pointing her womb. I took my gun and shot Yoda and Yaddle a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Kenobi ran in. "Han, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Yoda and Yaddle and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Palpatine ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Palpatine? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Plahyputine paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Yoda said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Kenobi's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Yaddle held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Yaddle said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Palpatine said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" Yoda asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

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	3. Chapter 12-18

**Chapter 12.**

AN: stop f,aing ok playtupuss is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no yodd iant kristian plus playtutine isn't really in luv wif han dat was R2-D2 ok!

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I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Chewbacca had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS PALPAtine but it was Vampire Leia. She started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY LEIA BUNS HURT!" and then….. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites.

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my leia buns turned back into BRAIDS!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have leia buns anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Finn changed it into braids for me." She said back. "Anyway my leia buns hurt and it turned back into the leia braids! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Chewbacca…. Daddy Vader has him bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Yoda and Yaddle and PLAPTINE were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Obi Wan Kenobi had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Palpatine came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Han I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Palpatine had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Han." Palpatine says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" he yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Yoda and Yaddle." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for louise I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Chewbacca?"

Plapahtine rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Hann," Kenobismuth said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Palpatine yelled. keNOBI lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

PLatypuss stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof kenobiiii!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minivest that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair exstensions all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, bro." B'loody C3P-H0E said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Yoda and Yaddle couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire Leia was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. She looked all depressed because Chewbacca had disappeared and she had used to be in love with Chewbacca. She was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." She said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Leia had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Chewbaccas. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor Padme who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire Leia you fucker!" I said slapping her. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Chewbacca!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then she started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY LEIA BUNS HURT!" and then….. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have leia buns anymore anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Finn changed it into braids." She said back. "Anyway my leia buns hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Chewbacca….Daddy Vader has him bondage!"

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SPECIAL FANGZ 2 LOUISE MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY LOUISE DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I

 **Chapter 13.**

AN: louise fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! preps STOP FLAMIGNG!

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Vampire Leia and I ran up the stairs looking for Obi Wan Kenobi. We were so scared.

"Obi Wan Kenobi!" we both yelled. Obi Wan Kenobi came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

"Vadder has Chewbacca!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Chewbacca!" we begged.

"No." He said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Darth Vader does to Chewbacca. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Han." He said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire Leia started crying. "My Chewbacca!" she moaned. (AN: don't u fik wookiesexuals r lik so hot!)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell her but that didn't stop her. She started to cry tears of blood. Then she had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" she exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." She said. She took out her wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Darth Vayders lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"

It was….. Darth Vader!

 **Chapter 14.**

AN: fuk off preps ok! Louise fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

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WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Darth Vader wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Mace Windu was. Chewbacca was there crying tears of blood. Darth Maul was torturing him. Vampire Leia and I ran in front of Darth Maul.

"Rid my sight you despicable prepz!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun. He suddenly looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "HanIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme." He said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

"Huh?" I asked.

"Han I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Darth Maul. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

"Darth Maul what art thou doing?" called Darth Vader. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our pod racers and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire Leia went away. There I started crying.

"RRRRRHGHE?" asked Chewbacca taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other guyz and preps here except for B'loody C3P-H0E, because they aren't ugly or anything."

"RRRRRRRHG." answered Chewbacca.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Yoda and Yaddle took a video of me naked. Palpatine says he's in love with me. Vampire Leia likes me and now even Darth Maul is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Chewie! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory han isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him he's pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

 **Chapter 15.**

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 louise 4 hlpein!

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"RRRRUURUGH!" shouted Chewbacca sadly. "RRRRGHHHH"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire Leia!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Chewbacca and Vampire Leia. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Chewbacca!

"RRRRRRRRGGHHHHH!" he shouted sadly. "RRRRRRRAAARGGHHHHHHGGHHH!." Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Chewbacca's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Yaddle shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

 **Chapter 16.**

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut preps! louise u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Louise wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 sam-ant5655 4 techin muh japnese!

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We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Chewbacca thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather vest and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Chewbacca was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Darth Vadmer and da stromtroopers!

"Wtf Chewbacca im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"

"RRRR…RGGGHRHH…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause wookies don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"RRRARRGHH." Chewbacca promised. "REERGHH."

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?"

"RARH." he muttered loudly.

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.

"RRAH! RREEAHRH! RRRRRRRRRAR!" he fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B'loody C3P-H0E was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." They said happily (they spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). "BTW Willbur that fucking poser got expuld. They failed al their klasses and they skepped math." (an: LOUISE U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Willbur will die too." I said.

"Kawai." B'loody 3PO shook their head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after they got expuld I murdered them and den yaddle did it with them cause they're a necphilak."

"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with chewie tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

B'Loody C3P-HOE Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."

"In Hoth Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hoth Topic Loiyalty carde.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody C3P-H0E are u a prep?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" they laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Chewbacca or Finn or Vampire Leia(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

"Kenobib." they sed. "Let me just call our pod racers."

"OMFFG KEOBIN?" I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." they told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody C3P-H0E asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday yaddle and yode tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black vest with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody C3P-H0E.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's Hand Solo what's yours?"

"Annie Skywalk." he said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf chewie you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Palpatine flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG HAN U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

 **Chapter 17.**

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz wilb isn't rely a prep. Louise plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

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Annie Skywalk gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said they wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Plapatne kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Palpatine?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Wilbur came. Palapantine went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." they said.

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Wilbur's really pretty and everything. They were wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale they are. They had a really nice body wif big arms and everything. They are thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Chewbacca?" they asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Finn." they anserred happily. Well anyway Chewbacca and Finn came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Finn was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Chewbacca was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody 3P-HOE was going 2 da concert wif Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren used to be called Ben but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Ben converted to Satanism and went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Kylo Ren now. Well anyway we al went 2 Chewbacca's black pod racer (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Dadbacca gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Chewbacca and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long louise blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif a black mask and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Chewbacca. Chewbacca and I came. It was….Darth Veder and da stormtrooperz!

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Han, I told u to kill Vampire Leia. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Chewbacca!"

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vader ran away. It was…OBI WAN KENOBI!

 **Chapter 18.**

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 louise 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson old ben kenorbz swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!

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I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather vest that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(Da night before Chewbacca and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Kenoobz chased Darth Vady away. We flew there on our pod racers. Mine was black and the pod stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Chewbacca had a black MCR pod racer. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody C3P-H0E and Willow. B'loody C3P-H0E was wearing a gold leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willbur was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire Leia, Kylo Ren and Chewbacca came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Kylo Ren was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Darth Vader yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

"….KENOBI?1!" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Darth Vaser!"

"Hello everyone." He said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.

"BTW you can call me OLD BEN." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"RREERGHH!" Chewbacca shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire Leia looked really jealous. I could see her crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn't say anything. "I bet she's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willbur shouted.

I was so fucking angry.


	4. Chapter 19-22

**Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise**

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW hanndns a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 louise 4m da help!11

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All day we sat angerly finking about Kennnobi. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Chewbacca was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve wookiez so hot).

"RRRRFHGHHH!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. Also I was wearing a vest. My hair was al up like Joel Madden. (email me if u wana see da pik)

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.

"RR- RAAR- RRREERG-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"RRRRGHGHHRRR!" he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Chewbacca banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (louise that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

Suddenly Palpatine came. He had appearated.

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in ma room?"

Only it wasn't just Palpatine. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Annie Skywalk or maybe Chewbacca but it was Kenobicep.

"Hey I need to ask you a question." He said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Chewbacca has a surprise for u."

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 **Chapter 20.**

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok preps!1 fangz 2 louise 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.

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All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. Also I put on a vest. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Vadder had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Chewbacca so we could do it again.

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Yaddle! "R u gonna cum rape me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Kennobi had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Yoda since he was a pedo.

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." He growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped….Yoda and Yaddle were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and R2-D2 was watching!1

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" he both shooted angrily when they saw me. R2-D2 ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw yoda is movd 2 griffindoor now)

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Yaddle shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Yoda began 2 shoot angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Kenndorki. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire Leia, looking extremely fucking hot.

"WTF where'd Chewbacca?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me they wouldn't cum." Vampire Leia said shaking her hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?"

Then….. she showed me her Pod Racer. I gasped. It was a black racer. She said her dogfather Brail Organa had given it 2 her. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'HANSOL' on it.

….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire Leia and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Chewbacca, cryin in a corner.

 **Chapter 21.**

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich lootise cuz it fok u preps!1 woopz soz louise fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!

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Later we all went in the skull. Chewbacca was crying in da common room. "Chewbacca are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.

"RRREERRG!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"Its ok Han." said Vampire Leia comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Chewbacca. Vampire Leia came too.

"Chewbacca please come!" she began to cry. Tears of blood came down her pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi girlz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)

And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire Leia got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Jinn there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Dooku come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Jinn.

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vampire Leia said under his breast in a disgusted way.

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Jinn. Den they heard Dooku meow. "Dooku is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Dooku nodded. And then….Vampir Leia frenched me! She did it jus as….. Mr. Jinn was taking of da cloak!1

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Chewbacca crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.

"Chewbacca!" I cried. "R u okay?"

"RRRURRGH." Chewbacca weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Chewbacca and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Hux and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1

 **Chapter 22.**

AN: stfu! preps stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. jinn itz louise's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding louise u fokieng rok preps suk!1

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All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where…. B;loody C3P-H0E, Vampire Leia, Finn, Chewbacca, Kylo Ren and Willbur!

I opened my crimson eyes. Wlibur was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that they wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire Leia was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Chewbacca was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire Leia looked like Joel Madden if Joel Madden was a gurl. B'loody C3P-H0E was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that they had ripped so it showed of all their robo clearage with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. General G (who is Grievous) was there too. He was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Jabba The Hutt and Bib Fortuna. It turns out that General G, Finn, Jabba The Hutt and Bib Fortuna's dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"

"RRRREERGHHAHGH." Chewbacca said.

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

"RRRARRRGH." Chewbacca said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."

"RRRRRRHGHH." he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. I also put on a vest. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Mace Window from Griffindoor was standing next to us. He was wearing a pink mini and a Jar Jar Binks t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at him. Inside the Great Hall we could see Kenobiceps. Princess Amidala was there shouting at Obi Wan Kenobi. Rey was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Princess Amidala.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rey. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR DARTH VADER WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

"Very well." Obi Wan Kenobi said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Darth Vader and he is in the school. And their name is…..Han Solo."

Chewbacca, Jabba The Hutt, Bib Fortuna, Grievous, Willbur, Vampire Leia and B'loody C3P-H0E looked at each other…I gasped.


	5. Chapter 23 - 27

**Chapter 23.**

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 louis e 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

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The door opened and Proffesor Rey and Princess Amidala stomped out angrily. Then Kennobi and Rey sawed us.

"MR. SOLO WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" REY shouted angrily. Kenob blared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!"

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between General G and Chewback and opposite C3P-H0E. Jabba The Hutt and Bib Fortuna started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Luke Skywalker. I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire Leia! He and Cheweabckie were shooting at eachother.

"Vampire Lolaa, Chewbacca WTF?" I asked.

"RRRGRGGRHRH!" yelled Chewbacca at Vampire Leia. "RRRRRARRGHH"

"No I do!" shouted.

"RRRRRARRHHHH!" yelled Chewbacca.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire Leia. And then… she jumped on Chewbacca! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Kenobi yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and bad astham flew in on his pod racer. He had a black mask and was wearing a black robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Lando that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire Leia and Chewbacca stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent….Dart Vladdir!

"Hnan…..Hnanhn…." Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire Leia as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Chewbacca too!"

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling and breathing weird.

I bust into tears. Chewbacca and Vampire Leia came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Darth Vad coming to kill Chewbacca while Chewbacca slit his wrists in a depressed way.

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"RRRrrrghg?" asked Chewbacca in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Hanny." said Vampire Leia all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"

"Its ok gurl." said C3P-H0E. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Phasma about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.

 **Chapter 24.**

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 louisne fagz 4 di help!

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Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Phasma about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Phasma in Japanese. she smelled at me with har gothic black 's da coolest fucking teacher ever. sHe had short dead blonde hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (she mom woz a vampire. she's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n c3HOE get along grate)s He's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Bail the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Han?"s he asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hoth Topik?"

"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

"Ho about now?"S he asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Phasma said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Lando." he pointed at Lando and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Chewbacca gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

"What do you c?" She asked.

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Chewbacca. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Phasma.

"Bye bitch." I said waving.

I went to Chewbacca and Vampire Leia was sitting next to him. We both followed Chewbacca together and I was so exhibited.

 **Chapter 25.**

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel catlin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 loooise fangz for de help!1

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I was so excited. I fellowed Chewbacca wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Chewbacca's black car.

"Rrarrg RRarreeghh RRRAARRRHH." whispered Chewbacca potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

"He said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the pod racer into a tree. We went to the top of it. Chewbacca put on some MCR.

"And all the things that you never ever told me

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

"OMFG Chewbacca Chewbacca!" I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice.

"RRRARRRERRGHGH?" Chewbacca asked me as I woke up opening my muddy brown eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Chewbacca to call Vampire Leia. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where… Dadbacca and Bail Organs!111

 **Chapter 26.**

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11

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A few mutates later Vampire Leia came 2 da tree. sHe was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.

"Hi Vampire Leia." I said flirtily as I started to sob. Chewbacca hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire Leia shouted angrily. SHe4 started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Kenobi."

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Kenobisal was sitting in his office.

"RRReeerrGGhh!" Chewbacca said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "RRaaRRGHh Rrhhahrr rhrAHGH."

Knobidi started to cockle. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Han's not divisional?"

I glared at Kenobi.

"RRRaaaaarGhh." he said angrily as KEnobi gasped (c is da toot of crakter). "EEEerrAARRGHH R RA HGHHA RRAHHH RAHHGG RRGAGAGRR GGGGGARRRRGGGH AHFHASAHR DHFHA GGARRA R R R"

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?"

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Corkscant." I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Chewbacca, Vampire Leia and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Chewbacca to wait in the nurses office while Vampire Leia went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Bail Rogna and Daddybacc came in on stretchers….and Proffesor Phasma was behind them!1

 **Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u**

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 LousiE 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital lloduie u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

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Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Chewbabca, Dabdacba, Bailin ORgnai and Vampire Leia all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Cum on Han." said Proffesor Phasma. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the fucking perdition."

I locked at Dadadcaab, Bail ORgnaa, Chewie and Vampire Leia. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Phamsa took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said… "Han, I see drak times are near." SHe said badly. SHe peered into da balls. "You see, you must go back in time." she took out a Time-Toner like C3PP-PEOE had. "When Darth Venice was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Dart Vixen if he was in love?" I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

"rraRRAAGGH?" asked Chewbacca.

"Yeah what happened?" asked General G, Willbur and C3P-WHORE?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Dadback and Bearil ORignaa being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Chewbacca. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Kenobi. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Jinnnnn looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Jabba and Bib Fortune set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley's Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire Leia and Chewbacca and we sneaked outside 2gether.


	6. Chapter 28 - 32

**Chapter 28.**

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor pashama sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 thtutnd 4 da help!1! lssojue hav fun wif kiwi!1111111

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We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Chewbakka and Vampire Leia.

"Are you okay?" Vampir Lair asked potting her albastard hand on mine. She was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. CHwebac also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Vavvder. Ill have 2 go bak in time"

Chewbacca started to cry sadly. Vampire Leia hugged him.

"RRAHRHRHGHH." he said finally. "Rarghgh Rahghh raghgh arhhghekas arhahglksdljhl?"

"Of coarse not!" I gasped.

"RARAHGHGH?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire Leia looked at us longingly.

Then… I took off Chewbacca's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire Leia tattoo that said Han on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Vampire Leia took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

"Rrarrargghhh... RRrarerarhghgh" he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire Leia filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly….

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was…. Yode and Profesor PPApdme!111

 **Chapter 29.**

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 rLOSUEIn u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

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"Oh my Vader!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. YOdein and Professor Padmmmmme started to shoot at us angrily.

"CUM NOW!1!" Preacher apadme yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Yooda garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire Leia shooted angrily.

"rrAarghh RRARHGHHH rathrhhgh RARHhahharhg HRAHRHGHH?" Chewbacca demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. "rrAarghh RRARHGHHH rathrhhgh RARHhahharhg HRAHRHGHHrrAarghh RRARHGHHH rathrhhgh RARHhahharhg HRAHRHGHH"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. YYyodea laughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor Papdme. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Chewbacca started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol pete mayhew rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz lousie sed so ok so fok u!1). Vampire Leia took out a black honkerchef and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then….. he and Yoda both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.

"Crosio!" I shouted. Yoda stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor Pdame did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK YDoae I'm going 2 go now." She left. TYoda started to laugh evilly. Vampire Leia started to cry.

"RRARHGHHH rathrhhg." said Chewbacca. "RRARHGHHH rathrhhgh RARHhahharhg HRAHRHGHH."

Yoda laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111

 **Chapter 30.**

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 losieu u rok bich!111

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"No!11" we screamed sadly. YOda stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… he came tords CHehwvcca!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Chewbacca and nit a candle.

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Yoda laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.

"U must stab Vrompire Leiara." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Chewbacca!1"

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

But den Chewbacca looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire Leia and she looked so smexy too wif her goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Chewbacca and KEknbob came and the tame where Chewbacca almost commited suicide and Vampire Leia wuz so sportive.

Yadleol laughed angrily. He started to prey to Darht Vad. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Chewbacca and Vampire Leia. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Chehrwbaca and Vampire Leia so they would destruct YDoa.

"KEnboi will get u!" Chewbacca shooted.

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire Leia yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" YDOa yielded. He took off all of Cheiwies's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him….

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. Yadoao scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Bail Corgi. I stopped doing crucio.

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted YOda but suddenly PAdpame came.

Yoda put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Pad I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Dadbaca and Profesor Pahsam came in2 da room and they and Bail unlocked the chains and put dem around YDoa. Then Profesor Phasma said 'Come on Han let's go."

 **Chapter 31.**

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quinces!111 stop kalin han a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff lousie 4 di help!1111

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"I always knew u were on Darht Vixon's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)." Bail said 2 Yoda.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Ydoa clamed.

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Vaderserum out of my poket and gave it to Papdme. Shee made Yoda dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Dadbacca took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Yoda. Then Proffesor Pahsma and Dadbacca made us get out wif them while Yoda told his secretes. Dadbacca took Vampure Leela and Chewbacca to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Pahsma took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Vvader. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. C3p=HOE, General G and Willbur came too. C3P-H-E gave me a blak bag from Annie SKywalk's store.

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Phasma.

"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willbur and General G helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." C3P=H03 said.

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." said Proffesor Phasma. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Phasma said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was….Anankain Bodil!1111

 **Chapter 32.**

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt anakin bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

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"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Han Solo da new student." I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

"Da name's Anankink." he said. "But u kan call me Vader. Datz ma middle nam"

We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Vader said. I followed him. "Hey Vader…..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Vader gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s)

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." Vader whispered.

"hogsment?" I asked.

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." he told me all sekrtivly. "and theres a really cool shop called Hoth-"

'topic!" I finshed, happy again.

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned.

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is kekneoib your princepill?" I shouted.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly KenBob flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had a mullet and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

Vader rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps."

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.

then suddenlyn…. the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."

"hey where r u goin?" Vader asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor pahsama classroom. kekenobobi wuz dere. "kekenobib I think I just met u." I said.

"oh yeah I rememba that." keneobi said, trying to be all goffik.

pahsma came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf han what da hell r u doing?"

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.

professor phasma looked sad. "um I was drinking vaderserum." she started to cry black tears of depression. kenobi didn't know about them.

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

"fuck off!" we both said and kenobi took his hand away.

professor phasma started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "omfg han…I think im addicted to vaderserum!."

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112


	7. Chapter 33 - 37

**Chapter 33.**

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz louise 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1

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"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?"

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Hgnan, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?"

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Chewbacca was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

"RRarhghhh?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

"RRARHHHhhghhhhh rhaaaaaaaaghghghg?" Bakka asked jealously.

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.

"RRRRRRRRArjghoaws aghalksfvn rrrrrrrrrrrrrerrhghg?" Chewbacca asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

"What happened 2 YIda?" I growled.

"U will see." Chewbacca giggled mistressly. He opened a door…Ydoa nd Yaddle werz there!11 BAil waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Yaddle bagged as Bairl started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Yoda bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Gkda trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). We took sum of Yoda's blod den CHekwacha and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.

"Oh Chewbacca!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Chewbacca!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation.

"R RROOLVE RRORU." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.

Chapter 34.

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 fangz 2 lousise 4 da help!1

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I wook up in da coffin de next day. Chewbacca waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly…. Baial ORorgna cocked on da door. I hopened it.

"Hi Lan." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Phasmam's office."

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Chewbacca or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.

"So what the fuck happened 2 YDyao and Yadlle?" I asked Sorious flirtily.

"I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."

I laughed evilly.

"Where r Chewbacca and Vampira LEia?" I muttered.

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily. "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."

We went into da office. Proffesor asphasma was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic

( http/ She wuz drinking some vaderserum.

She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.

"Hanana, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"

And then….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Vader. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. I noticed…he was drinking a portent.

"Whose he!11" I asked.

"Oh, datz Profesor Koon." Vader said. "He's da Portents teacher…..Han?"

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."

"Yah?"

"Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"

 **Chapter 35. gost of u**

AN: fangz 2 stenven 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 lsousise 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.

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I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Vader. Suddenly I gasped…..Chewbacca wuz there!111

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.

"Chewbacca what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Chewbacca. It was Dadbacca!1 He stil had two arms.

"Oh hi dadbacca!1" I sed. "Im Han the new student lol we shook handz."

"Yah Vader told me abot you." Dadbababca said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting. It wuz Bail, Vampire Leia's dad and…Yoda! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. "Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.

"ORLY." I ESKED.

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Breadroll plays da drums" he said ponting to him. "Yoda plays the boss. And Poe plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."

"Hey basards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Dadababcba looked dawn sadly.

"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists."

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped.

"Its okay but we need a new led snigger." Samaro said.

"Wel…..I said Im in a bnad myself."

"Rilly?" asked Yoda. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?"

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.

"Hahan? Will u join da band? Plz!1" begged Dadbabca, Samoro, BRail and YOde

"Um….ok." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?"

"Yah." they said.

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped n fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Han." he said siriusly Den….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111

 **Chapter 36.**

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 louise 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111

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I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Phasma. CP-H03, Bairil and Chewbacca, Vampire Leia and Willbur were their to.

"OMFG Bail I saw u nd Samaro and YODa nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev YDoa uzd 2 b goffik!111111"

"Yah I no." Bail said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Phasma said in an emo voice dirnking some vaderserom.

Hi fuker." I said. "Lizzen, Vader asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I'm playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too."

"Oh my Vader!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) gasped C3P-H0E. "Want 2 go to Hoth Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"

"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Phasam.

"I can't fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willbur.

"RRRRRR ER RA R GGGGGGGG RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRARHRHR." Backaak said resultantly.

"Well we have potions klass now." Willbur said so let's go.

We went sexily to Potionz class. But ydao wasn't there. Instead there was…Princess Amidala Fuck!11111

"RRARRRGHHG R RAHGHHG" Chewbacca shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" shooted PricnessFuck. "He is in Azkhabian now wif yoda and yaDDel he is old and week he has kancer. "Now do ur work!111"

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

"Can you BELEVE YODA used to be gottik!1" Vampire Leia asked surprisedly.

"DATZ IT!11" PRICNESS AMI FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR REY!111"

SHe stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer. Suddenly I saw Palpaitne in da cupboard.

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Chewbacca. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly…"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAA" he shooted.

I looked around….Pulaapaistene wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 CHehbabcaak and Vampire Leia started 2 beat him up sexily.

"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Puppetine. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was…Amnesia Portion!111

 **Chapter 37.**

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 losusie fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

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CHEWBBAKAKS'S PONT OF VIEW LOL

Vampire Leia and I chaind Palpatine 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Han said. She wuz so hot. "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Vader foll in love wif me faster!1"

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Hnan," said Vampire Leia. "Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Han.

"ARAAAAARGHGHGH RRRRRRRRRRRREARH?" I asked jelosly.

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Lando, a fucking prep.

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willbur.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Phasma's room."

Chewbacca, Hban and I went to Profesor Phasma's room. But Profesor Phasma wasn't there. Instead Annie Skywalk was.

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.

"RRarrghghghgh GGrgrgrgeeaaa?" asked Chewbacca. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh my fuking Satan!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Phasma is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now. Classes shal be taught by Kenbobibi who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rey.

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"

Suddenly KEneobi came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Chewbacca and Vampire Leia. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was…Profesor Koon's efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz…..Profesor Koon!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket.

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Koon.

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Bail, Samaro and Yoda were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Wheres Vader?"

"Oh he's cumming." said Baial. "BTW u can kall me Hades now." Suddenly Vader came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Vader.


	8. Chapter 38 - 42

**Chapter 38.**

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

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Vader and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 666 just lik Chewbacca's car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about satanism, kuttting, musik and being goffik.

"Oh my Satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11" Vader agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena." I said in a flirty voice. "….Hey Vader do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Vaderseruem?"

"Well…" he thought. "I fink u have 2 drink vampire blod."

Suddenly Vader parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Vader and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Vader and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists.

While Vader was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Vader's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag. Vader turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.

"OMG!111" Vader said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. "Hannah gess what?"

I new that the amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." He said. "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u."

"Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly. And den…. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly…. I attaked her suking all her blood.

"Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Vader and I loked so cute 2gether. Vader and I started to walk outside.

"Zomg how did u do that?" Vadddir asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a vampure." I said as we went into the car.

"Siriusly?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer. Vader started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.

"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink?"

"Yah." I said as we kised passively. Vader parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Chewbacca and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Vader. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.

"I wood like to peasant…..XBlakXTearX!11" he said. I ran onstage. Dadcbbca, Samaro, Yodo and BBrail were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Vader got an eructation. "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I sang finaly. Suddenly Dadbbcbea started playing da song wrong by mistak.

"OMFG!1" yielded Samaro. "Wut the fuck?"

"Woops im sory!" said Dadbacca.

"You fuking ashhole!1" Samaro shouted angrily.

"U guys are such prepz!11" Yodea said. "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said BBabil.

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro.

"U guys stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Dadbbcbea but it wuz 2 late Samaro tried 2 shoot off his arm.

And den…I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11

"No!111" yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.

 **Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz**

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN/ I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps.

I, the American retail wearing british Vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Vader kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Vader sobbed. "I love you Han."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

C3P-H0E suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. He frowned when he realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Han's lifeless body, he screamed. His face became pale with horror. He screamed for the healers, Kenobi, Padme, and every single gothic person he could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Han. Everyone stared in shock. His body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Vampire Leia and Vader started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Chewbacca and C3P-H0E fled the scene and got married.

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Han shed a single tear because of his current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

He lst it all, but he knew he had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break him down.

He looked down over his pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' he asked himself in confusion.

And then it occured to her...

For his shirt, he was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, he was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Han realized, on his shoulder, he was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Han supressed the urge to scream like a wookie. Here he was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Han hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Han frowned, and looked under his shirt. All he saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Han tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Han bellowed out to the air. He failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical his words were, seeing as he was practically calling the kettle black here.

Han slit his writs and mumbled to himself, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN/ Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

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I woke up in da Norse's offace on a speial gothik coffin. PPalaispatine wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir Leia and Chewbacca had bet him up. Mr. Jinn was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi Satan wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Dar t Cicada came. He loked less mean then usual.

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire Leia yet!11" he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Darth Venison? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Dadbaca, Profesor Phasma and Bail came! C3P-H0E and Vampire Leia were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. DARTH VXDER DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Han ur alive!111" Scremed Vampire Leia. I hugged her and C3P.

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my Santa!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.

"Han u were almost shot!11" said bAil. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time."

"But fangz anyway!1" said Dadadcabaca holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampir' Leia's dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest YDOlana wuz pozzesd by Yoda bak den." said Samaro.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Bail said sadly. "He wuz really a Stormtrooper."

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11" said Dadbacca. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him." Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Jinn looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Chewbacca?" I asked gothikally.

"No Chewbacca told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Profesor Phasma. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally. Dadbcbbaca, Bail and Profesor Phasma left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong hat said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet op under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif C3pWhat , Willbur and Vampire Leia.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willbur.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Chewbacca!1" giggled Vampire Leia.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11" said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Chewbacca wuz there doing it wif Yoda!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire Leia angrily as she took out her blak gun.

"RRRrrrggghghh!1" screamed Chewbacca sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake's.

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Willbur trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.

"rrrrrrrRRRAGH!11111" screamed Chewbacca but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.

Sincerely,

An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P

A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains.

 **Chapter 41.**

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updatin while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG vhewbabca iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play chewbcaca. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 losuise u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.

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When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'

"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Vader(dis is actually vadddeir 4 photo refrenss!). Vader wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11

"OMFG Han r u ok." He asked gothikally.

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I Yodaped sexily. "OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Samaro's gun. I also rememberd cing Chewbacca doing it wif Yoda!111

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.

"No ur not dead." Vader reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a Vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Vampire Leia's dad is doing."

I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. "WTF! Samaro almust shot Dadaca!" I said indigoally. I knew that Samaro had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.

"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Vader reasoned evilly.

"I guess that's ok." I said because Samaro hadn't really shot Dicacnan. Also I noo that Daddncaba wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Vader. Suddei I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak GreenDay shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.

"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.

"Dis is…BB8!11" Sed Vader. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.

"Hey BB8." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.

"Lol hi Han." He answered but then he rolled away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was beeping Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was BB8. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up." Vader said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz!).

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, BB8. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys."

Dadbacca, Samaro, Bail and Yoda were all in da Grate Hall. Dadbacca woudnt talk wiv Samaro because he had tried 2 shoot him.

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Chewabbaca is never gong 2 b frends with Vampire Leia now!1"

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Yoga agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt Samaro had almost shot Dadbacca.

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Vader good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire Leia's dad wood never die and "OK Vader and BB8, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.

"Kool." said Bail as Vader and BB8 started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Bail, ToYoda and Dadbacca all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Yoda was bi.

"Oh my fukking god! Vaddir! Vadeim!" screamed BB8 as his glock touched Vader's.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame…Keknboi and Mr. JJinn!111111111111

 **Chapter 42. da blak parade**

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111. I fink dat ydoa will be really the same person as Vader koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild Kenenobi and he hated Vamper lair!1111 nd den Liea wil have 2 kommit suicide so Vader will die koz he will rilly be a Sith Lord!111 omg I hope Chewbacca nd Leia get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it? If dey don't den Geroge Lykeas is hamophobic!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111

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I sat depressedly in Kenobi's office wiv BB8, Vader, Samaro, Bail, Yoda and Dadbacca. Dumbledore was sitting n front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.

"What da hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.

"Whatever u do don't blame han, u jerk." Vader said.

"Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Vader and BB8 back together." Bail said deviantly.

"Be quiet you satanists." Kenobi cockled. "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Kenobi didn't notece.

"You fucking poser." I muttoned.

"I bet you've never herd of GC." Samaro said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly's tim machine!11

"Shut up Samaro!" Chewbac's dad shouted.

"Yeah shut up!" Yoda said preppily.

"No u shut up Kenby!1111" said Annie.

"I've had enough of u satanists in my school!" shouted Kenobi spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. "Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8! I jumped in2 it. Bt only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was…..Vader.

"You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Kenobi wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Vader. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.

"Hey kool where iz dis?" he asked in an emo voice.

"Dis is da future. Kenobib's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine." I told him.

"Kool what's an ipatch?" he whimpered.

"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?" he esked in his sexah voice.

"Um I guezz sand?" I laid confuesdly.

"I h8 sand itz coarase n ruff n irrititiang. n it gets evrywhere." He triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

"OMG yo're fucking alive!" said Hux wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 him why I was alive.

"Konichiwa, bitch." said Willbur. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and ed stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.

"Hey, motherfucker." Said Finn with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.

"Hey whose that, Ian?" C3P-H0E questined as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.

"Oh its Vader." I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Vader started to cry.

"Are you okay Vader?" we asked concernedly.

"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?" he asked.

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.

"Ok." He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Finn a signal to keep Vader occupied. Vader fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Phasma ran in!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

"Oh my fucking god, where's Chewbacca!111 How did Yoda get back here! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan." I asked sadly.

"Han I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vrompire. Yodae came back because that prep Lando freed him. I never liked him he was a bad student." Phasma said reassuredly.

"That bitch!11 Did she also free Palaupcaitne and Yaddle?" I shouted angrily. I hated Lando because he was a fucking prep.

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. KEnobi is back Princess Amidala is on her way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!" Phasma said worriedly.

"OK. But where's Chewbabcaka? How cum he was doing it with Yoda?"

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." she said.

"OMG dat's terrible!" I gasped. Vader was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!" wiv dat I ran out.

"Good luck Hnnan!11" everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Lando laughing on da stairs. He was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. He looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

"You fucking bitch!111" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally a bitch. Now Vader will like totally kill u!" he laughed.

"Crucious!1" I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and he started screaming koz he was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.

"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Lando screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at him. In his hand I saw da video camera Yodae and Yiddle had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Vader doing it with BB8 onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Leia . "OMG Vampira!111" I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily. she locked at me wif her gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. she wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and her blak congress shoes.s He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!1)"I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vampire Leia.

"I know but Im a Vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Vader from when he was yung with me."

"Where's Chewbacca?" I asked spuriously.

"Chewbacca? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?" Vampir LEia snarkled with anger in her sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.

"I'll do it den." Leai said angstily.

"OK." I argreed. Suddenly….all da lights in da room went out. And den….da Sith MArk appeared.

"Oh my fucking Satan!" Vamp Leia shouted.

"I fink Vader has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Chewbacca!1 I guess we shood separate."

"Ok." Vampire Leia sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.


	9. Chapter 43 - 44

**Chapter 43.**

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111

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I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It ws empty except for one person. Chewbacca was there! He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wriss!111 I felt mad at him for having sex with Yodae but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.

"Chewbacca are you okay?" I asked.

"RRRARrrgghh." he screamed depressedy. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh Chewbacca why did you do it with that fucking bastard Yoda?" I asked teardully.

"RR-" Chewbacca began to say but suddenly Yaddle and Mr. Jinn appearated in2 da room! They didn't see us.

"Im so glad we me and Yoda were freed." said Yaddle.

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" Mr. JInn argreed.

"Pop addelum!111" I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.

"Noooooooo!1" Yaddle shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Jinn ran away.

"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. "Now u have 2 tell us where Vader is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"

"I don't now where he is!1111" said Yaddle. Suddenly Vader and Vampire Leia ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't know who Vader was really.

"Oh my Satan, we were so worried about u guys!1" Vampire Leia said. I looked sexily at Chewbacca with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, Vampir with her sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Vader who looked jist like Brandan Urie then.

I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Chewbacca sexily. Yadldle gasped. Chewbacca began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire Leia took her own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 vampire leia lol. "Oh mi Vader! Chewbacca!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to LEia. I began making out wiv Vader and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire Leia. "Oh Vampire Leia! Vampire Leia!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Vader!" yelled LEia in pleasore. Yaddle watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly…..

….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Yoda wuz in it!11

 **Chapter 44.**

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!1 petper mayehew is so hot lol i hop leai wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me she iz rlly emo in dis book!1111 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.

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"Dat's mi car!" shooted Chewbacca angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Yoda!

"I shall free you YADDle but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads." he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. "Han Solo must be killed. Den the Dork Vender shall never die!"

"RRRearrrrhgHHH!" yelled Chewbacca. Then he loked at me sadly. "RRARR R GGH AHGHGHG TTTTRRRAHGHGH GGRRRRARRGGHGHN GHGHRAHHA."

We all put our clothes on quickly except Vader. We were so scarred!1 But Vader didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into… Darht Vader!111

"I knew who thou were all along." he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shall kill thee all!" Thunder came in da room.

"No plz don't kill u!" pleaded Vampire Leia. Suddenly Willbr, C3P-HE0, Finn, Hux, Genrnreal G, Rex and HArdcase, Palpatine, Padme, Kenobi, Bail and Dadbacca all ran in.

"What is da meaning of dis?" Obi Wan asked all angrily and Vader lookd away (bcos kenobi is da only whizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Vader flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.

"Oh my goth!" Koon gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)

"The Sith Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Yoda ejaculated menacingly.

"You fucking preppy fags!" Bail shouted angrily.

"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!"screamed LEia but da sparks from hers wand only hit Chewbacca's car. It fell down Yoda quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

"Oh my fucking god!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Chehwbabcca and the video of Vader doing it with

"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton." He laughed meanly.

"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Yaddle!11"

"Whats she talking abott?" Yaddle slurped as he sat in chains.

"I saw 2 she's gunna show evry1 da picter!111" LELia shouted angrily.

"Shut up!111'" Yaddle roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Vader from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon."

"Think again you fucking muggle poser!1" LEia yelled and then she and Finn and Luke both took out blak guns! But Vader took out his own one.

"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!111" I shouted despariedrly.

"Acco Luke's wand!11" cried Vader nd suddenly Luke's wind was in his hands. "Now I shall kill thee all and Han u will die!11111"

He maid lighting come all over da place.

"Save us Han!" Kenobi cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Chewbacca but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted.


End file.
